This autumn is significant to me in many ways. First of all, it’s the first. It was the only season I have yet to experience, and now that I have, I’m in love with it! It also marks the end of my 3rd month here. So much has happened, and I’m gonna try and condense it all here.
Those who know me well have heard over and over, how I would move out of Singapore in a heartbeat if the opportunity came. For most of my adult life, I’ve had to stow away my dreams, and try my hardest to focus on everything that was good. And there was so much to be thankful for in Singapore. The easy company of friends and family, getting paid to do what I love, and travelling to beautiful countries nearby. But once in a while, I’d get reminded of the country’s smallness — both physically and psychologically. And I’d allow myself that little bit of self-pity, to feel lousy at being trapped on the island bubble. While I had everything I needed at home, I wanted more. To see more, do more, be more. And then I’d wake up the next day, put aside those feelings, and just hope that the chance will come by one day.
And it popped up out of nowhere earlier this year. Accepting the job here wasn’t as easy as I expected because I had to compromise. Was I willing to risk all of the unknowns that came with the move for the same pay? Deep down it was a loud YES. But my head went on overdrive, trying to figure out all the pros and cons and whether this YES was a good move or not. There was really no accurate way to make this calculation, so I just went with the few facts I had, and dove straight into it.
The job is extremely challenging, and that’s what’s gonna keep me here for a while. There’s just so much to learn before I can even feel comfortable. It can be crazy at times, but the team’s great company. Overall, I’m just relieved that the environment suits me. But work’s work, and that’s that. It’s what I have to do to live here.
And whenever the weekend rolls in, I’m reminded of how incredibly lucky and happy I am to be here. I can just wake up, look at maps to decide on a new place I want to explore, and take public transport out into the city’s glorious nature. Sometimes when I’m up in the mountains, I still can’t believe I’m living this new life, where it’s that easy to do what I’ve always longed to do.
Really grateful for both the randomness and logical decisions in my life that have brought me to this point.